Possible Reason Why a Protective Caregiver

Might Deny Signs of Sexual Abuse

Sheryl Overby, MS  LIMHP

There are many many reasons why someone would question whether or not a person that they know, love and trust would sexually abuse a child.  Sexual abuse is one of the most hated social problems in our society, and no one freely admits they they have committed sexual abuse.  And for the sex    offender’s friends and family, it is just so hard for them to put that person  in the category of “sex offender”; frankly it’s so embarrassing that it  literally turns your world upside down.  Here are some common reasons why  it’s so hard to believe your child was sexually abused by someone you love.

  • Feels conflicted, has affection for abuser
  • Forced to choose between child and abuser
  • Feels ashamed, there must be something wrong with their family
  • Feels responsible for abuse since she couldn’t protect her child in the first place
  • Loses trust in self and ability to “tell” when someone might be an abuser
  • Issues with own sexuality or attractiveness
  • Fear of losing financial security if the abuser was provider for family
  • Fear of NHHS involvement
  • Fear of being blamed
  • Fear child will be blamed, so would rather keep it a secret
  • Emotional dependence on abuser
  • Afraid of being emotionally or physically hurt by offender
  • Ashamed of her choice of partner
  • Sexual abuse history in self (too many triggers)
  • Protection not role modeled in family of origin
  • Made her own attempts to protect the child (but they didn’t work)
  • Believes they can solve the problem within the family